Essay 1

Rapid technological change has shaped the world we live in today. Far from having a positive influence, living in high-tech world dependent on computers and mobile devices has distracted us from what is really important in life.

How far do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Fawaz, you had a simple grammatical mistake in your first sentence; shame on you.

‘Living in a world highly dependent on gadgets, the internet, and other technological accomplishments have made people lost from what the true purpose of life is.’

‘Living in a world highly dependent on gadgets, the internet, and other technological accomplishments have?? made people lost from what the true purpose of life is.’

CORRECTION: ‘Living in a world highly dependent on gadgets, the internet, and other technological accomplishments has made people forget the true purpose of life .’

Explanation: ‘Living in a world highly dependent on gadgets, the internet, and other technological accomplishments = IT  ( the act of living )

thus It has….

Gadgets have made the world…

Fawaz, what is the true purpose of life? ❤

‘This essay fully agrees with the topic being written down at hand and gives real life scenarios to exemplify some actions.’

The above excerpt is a little bit wordy. 

Try this : In this essay I will illustrate with real life scenarios why I agree so strongly with the idea that society must break from its traditions in order to advance.

Kids are BABY GOATS! Please, use the term children.

He/she = please write ‘they

I don’t understand in paragraph 3 how lazy people and plagiarism are linked. Please be clearer.

Good essay Fawaz, with a bit of tidying up it could be a winner.

 

 

 

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